Day 3 In the moustache house....

The first conversation of the day went like this..

Mum:   Morning.

Me:      Morning.

Mum:   Have you been using my blue towels!!!?

Me:      kerflumph?

Mum:   You have blue fluff all over your face!

Me:      kerflumph!

Mum:   Are you growing a beard?

Me:      Humph.

I pride myself on being immature, even now when I hear somebody say 'gonads', I will stifle a little laugh. What makes it worse is that it was probably me who said it in the first place. So now when I think that other people of my age are trying to come to terms with the onset of their own 'middle age', I think maybe they are fighting through the start of a mid life crisis and hoping to finally find themselves. Me, I'm growing a moustache, wearing an offensive T-shirt and air guitaring to an old Blink song. Some may interpret this as a mid life crisis, but I have never really been mature enough to be able to regress in the first place. Here in lies my latest worry, with the new facial hair will I be expected to dress in chinos? Wear blazers? God forbid, loafers.. Arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm supposed to be drawing some sketches for one of my Uni projects, but inbetween drawing undercarriage parts I also drew a robot attacking a house. That should be enough stave off maturity for at least a week. I apologise for the drawing, but I have never been much good at drawing anthropomorphic features. I once came home from work, several years ago, and started to draw a small face on one of my testicles in biro due to boredom and binging on several packets of prawn cocktail crisps. It turned out to be an excellent likness of Robocop, with some judicious stretching. Just be thankful I dont dig out that picture.

Now the exciting bit, clearly the six sausage rolls I bought from Morrison's yesterday have had the desired effect, and growth is now at a good millimetre, maybe a little more. But I hear you cry ''the Mighty Strawbridge requires at least 30mm of growth''. Which is an excellent point, since there are only thirty days in Movember, that means a maximum growth of 15mm, so efforts must be doubled. I dont really want to tarnish the name of Strawbridge with a poor Tom Selleck lookalike 'tache, that would be blasphemy. Any ideas for increasing growth rate? I could do with a bottle of Dimoxinil!

I'll be sure to post a picture of my new fuzz later..

Day 2.... Scruffy sheek...

So the day has dawned, the first day of my new tash and first day of Movember (Please go, donate, even if its only 50p!!!)

It's strangely like puberty all over again, excitement at the new growth of bumfluff appearing on your top lip. Running to the bathroom, your feet dancing on the stairs, the rushing to the mirror.... Has it grown?.. Except this time its a gingery, browny stubble that usually annoys me after two days of no shaving and brings no end of complaints from she who must not be named, who I shall refer to from now on as aerospace girlfriend. 

So here is a pic of me at about 11pm last night just after mowing the old chops with the rubbish old electric shaver..

Hopefully I will go from that clean shaven, baby face to this....

...This is of course, the man.. The legend... That mustachioed hunk of beef, Dick Strawbridge.. That moustache makes me want to stand up straight. Stand up straight and sing him the full national anthem while giving him the full Rimmer salute..

I have no idea what aerospace girl sees in me, but when I look at that picture up there all it does is remind me of a mushroom face... The resemblance is uncanny.

But I digress, you're not here to read about my self loathing but to get your fix on the growth of my facial hair!!! Some educated guess work with a mirror and some serious eyeballing has it at around... Drum roll please.. Bbrbbrbrbbbbbrbrbrbbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbbrbrbrbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppp 0.5mm. Not much, but enough to look even more scruffy than I usually do, maybe the tash will bring me an air of authority and respect, instead of having to elbow my way around the old dears and chavs at Morrison's. At any rate the frequency of being asked to prove I'm over 18 should drop in proportion to the growth of my tash!

I'm sure my daily intake of sausage rolls, coffee and cheese will increase my growth rate. I am on a strict diet of brown, so Gregg's baked goods are in, flaming sambuccas are out.. I can almost feel my follicles flexing, or possibly my arteries furring, either way somethings stirring in my face...