So the day has dawned, the first day of my new tash and first day of Movember (Please go, donate, even if its only 50p!!!)
It's strangely like puberty all over again, excitement at the new growth of bumfluff appearing on your top lip. Running to the bathroom, your feet dancing on the stairs, the rushing to the mirror.... Has it grown?.. Except this time its a gingery, browny stubble that usually annoys me after two days of no shaving and brings no end of complaints from she who must not be named, who I shall refer to from now on as aerospace girlfriend.
So here is a pic of me at about 11pm last night just after mowing the old chops with the rubbish old electric shaver..
Hopefully I will go from that clean shaven, baby face to this....
...This is of course, the man.. The legend... That mustachioed hunk of beef, Dick Strawbridge.. That moustache makes me want to stand up straight. Stand up straight and sing him the full national anthem while giving him the full Rimmer salute..
I have no idea what aerospace girl sees in me, but when I look at that picture up there all it does is remind me of a mushroom face... The resemblance is uncanny.
But I digress, you're not here to read about my self loathing but to get your fix on the growth of my facial hair!!! Some educated guess work with a mirror and some serious eyeballing has it at around... Drum roll please.. Bbrbbrbrbbbbbrbrbrbbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbbrbrbrbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppp 0.5mm. Not much, but enough to look even more scruffy than I usually do, maybe the tash will bring me an air of authority and respect, instead of having to elbow my way around the old dears and chavs at Morrison's. At any rate the frequency of being asked to prove I'm over 18 should drop in proportion to the growth of my tash!
I'm sure my daily intake of sausage rolls, coffee and cheese will increase my growth rate. I am on a strict diet of brown, so Gregg's baked goods are in, flaming sambuccas are out.. I can almost feel my follicles flexing, or possibly my arteries furring, either way somethings stirring in my face...
