The first conversation of the day went like this..
Mum: Morning.
Me: Morning.
Mum: Have you been using my blue towels!!!?
Me: kerflumph?
Mum: You have blue fluff all over your face!
Me: kerflumph!
Mum: Are you growing a beard?
Me: Humph.
I pride myself on being immature, even now when I hear somebody say 'gonads', I will stifle a little laugh. What makes it worse is that it was probably me who said it in the first place. So now when I think that other people of my age are trying to come to terms with the onset of their own 'middle age', I think maybe they are fighting through the start of a mid life crisis and hoping to finally find themselves. Me, I'm growing a moustache, wearing an offensive T-shirt and air guitaring to an old Blink song. Some may interpret this as a mid life crisis, but I have never really been mature enough to be able to regress in the first place. Here in lies my latest worry, with the new facial hair will I be expected to dress in chinos? Wear blazers? God forbid, loafers.. Arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm supposed to be drawing some sketches for one of my Uni projects, but inbetween drawing undercarriage parts I also drew a robot attacking a house. That should be enough stave off maturity for at least a week. I apologise for the drawing, but I have never been much good at drawing anthropomorphic features. I once came home from work, several years ago, and started to draw a small face on one of my testicles in biro due to boredom and binging on several packets of prawn cocktail crisps. It turned out to be an excellent likness of Robocop, with some judicious stretching. Just be thankful I dont dig out that picture.
Now the exciting bit, clearly the six sausage rolls I bought from Morrison's yesterday have had the desired effect, and growth is now at a good millimetre, maybe a little more. But I hear you cry ''the Mighty Strawbridge requires at least 30mm of growth''. Which is an excellent point, since there are only thirty days in Movember, that means a maximum growth of 15mm, so efforts must be doubled. I dont really want to tarnish the name of Strawbridge with a poor Tom Selleck lookalike 'tache, that would be blasphemy. Any ideas for increasing growth rate? I could do with a bottle of Dimoxinil!
I'll be sure to post a picture of my new fuzz later..
