It itches, just like that crap 90's film The Field Of Dreams with its almost Hippy like mantra 'if you build it, they will come' well I have decided facial hair should come with the caveat of "if you grow one, you will itch". It wouldn't be so bad, but its something that is constantly there, like X factor or Dancing on ice. Highly annoying but not offensive.
Keeping on the theme of hairy things, myself and Aerospace girlfriend were watching Autumn Watch, as opposed to watching Kate Humble's Badger. For those who don't watch this, you should, listening to Chris Packham say ''hoaaiiiii'' then watch him sniff a poo. Highly entertaining. Before I carry on with my ramble on the evenings televisual wonders, let me tell you a story....................... When I was a youngling, about twelve years of age I went into the garden armed with a small beach spade and began the 1992 summer search for treasure having been inspired by Time Team. I dug little holes here and there until I could resist no more and started 'the hole'. Deciding where to dig the hole was a task in itself, too near the house and I'd surely be seen by my mother and grounded as usual, too close to the mental neighbours and I'd be found out. Couldn't dig up the few patches of grass that I hadn't yet set fire too, previously dug up or destroyed with paint. Location found I started to dig, I found small bones buried by a long gone dog, interesting rocks and small pieces of brick. I carried on regardless and still the treasure eluded me. The next day I returned to my hole and carried on digging, and the next. The small beach spade was useless for the large scale excavation I was doing but my hole was soon as deep and wide as I was tall. I spent all summer digging in one form or another in the garden and I didn't find shit, and neither was there any in Autumn Watch tonight, Chris Packham you let me down!
I have also been told not to call She Who Must Not Be Named, Aerospace girlfriend. I did offer the following choices 'Fish wife', 'Shoe girl', 'Crazy cat lady' but all were met with a look that had my testicles running for the hills. So while I dwell on that let me remind you of Movember and to not only donate your hard earned cash, (or easy earned student loans) but to check your balls!
