Things have been more than a little busy these last few days, This last year of my MEng degree has me working harder than Ron Jeremy's old chap. But I know that excuse wont wash with you my eager blog readers and I promise to get my act together!
I haven't really done very much except work, I did spend an enjoyable weekend at aerospace girlfriends which involved a poo. Not mine, or hers, In fact I am not sure who did it but it is one of two suspects, Bella Lugosi and Mr Sprout, two guinea pigs who live in Aerospace girlfriend's bedroom. These guinea pigs have previous poo flinging form and have become quite adept at launching a their droppings across the room at a rate of knots. Now it wasn't the rogue guinea pig poo that surprised me, or the fact that I was lay on it. It was the reaction of aerospace girlfriend who casually picked it up in a tissue and remarked ''It's ok. It's completely dry". Can't fault her logic.
I think as we get older we get used to getting up at the crack of dawn, getting ready, grabbing a coffee, the long commute into uni/work. Having to labour through the boredom and monotony of the day, putting up with slack jawed yokels, driving home again. Spend all night at the desk, watching the news, the mad dash for the remote when Hollyoaks starts, kicking yourself that you heard the theme music and you now also have to resist the urge to jam a pencil into your ears, and then the white noise of the local news drains the last of your will to live.. It is then that you do it. Ladies cover your eyes, guys, you know what I'm talking about. The 'twiddle'. I don't mean some dirty attempt at flicking one off to a thirty second, grainy Latvian Porn clip on some rip off Youtube site, I mean the old ballsack fiddle where you while away the hours rolling your ball skin about like a redneck whittling a stick. Don't be scared to admit it, I know you all do it, I do it. The whole point of me writing this blog is because I am growing a moustache to raise awareness to get men to touch their balls. Now this isn't some thinly vieled attempt to get you to inspect your bits, I do have a point. It's a tiny insignificant thing, but it's the small things in life that make it worth living and today one such small thing was watching an Audi driver go apoleptic because I blew him a kiss.
He had tried and failed to overtake every car at every possible opportunity and after fifteen minutes had managed to get several car lengths behind where he started. After undertaking me and several others, blowing his horn and driving up everyones rear end he realised he was in the wrong lane and attempted to bully his way back in, usually people let them back, but not this time. The traffic lights changed to red and we all gently rolled past him, I was the last car in the line, while he was stuck there, stranded in the middle of a junction of several roads at rush hour. As I passed he desperately made eye contact and was gesturing for me to let him in, I shook my head. He called me a naughty word. I blew him a kiss. He literally erupted and realising he had nowhere to go, left to join another queue going the wrong way home. I realised that despite all the annoyance in the world, it's the small things like a quick scrotum twiddle or scoring one against an idiot that transforms you into the young, carefree teenager whose only concern was who was going to lick your balls that day, not whether you managed to finish that twenty page report and presentation...
So back the 'tache.. The worst of the itching has now passed, or so I hope and have had several comments on the bushyness of growth. But this has brought on a new set of problems, in that it has now started to collect food when I eat. Dammit, who'd have thunk it! These issues never occurred to me before I started growing it. I saw Dick Strawbridge and said that one! If only I had stopped to think that my large cappuccino froth or mayonnaise from a sandwich would find its way stuck onto my baby 'tache.. I can only hope my emulation will be worthy of the name Strawbridge.
Will post a photo tomorrow so you can share the power of my 'tache!
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