Day 4... Its a moustache Jim, but not as we know it...

Today marks my first day walking amongst the public, no longer am I a hairy faced virgin. Although I felt a bit inconspicuous with my three day old 'towel fluff face', I also had trouble reading the looks of the women who serve me my daily pint of coffee in Costa's. I like to think they were feeling the power of the 'tache, in fact I can feel the power of the 'tache. I no longer walk, I strut, confident in my moustache's ever increasing power to both humble chavs and leave women lingering for more... Although I don't like to dwell on the fact I am well over 6 feet tall with a gait that any Gibbon would recognise, so strutting is technically out of the question. Despite my penchant for the joys of Oi and anarcho punk I am quite partial to a bit of Tom Jones. Aerospace girlfriend knows this only too well, when I start singing in her flat. The man can command an entire room just through his walk, I'm almost certain this is due to his impressive chest wig. I am starting to see the correlation between body hair and strutability and my analytical brain is trying to work out whether hair growth is proportional to masculinity or if it is just down to luck that certain men can carry off walking like a panther. Answers on a postcard please.

I caught myself thinking I'd look cool in a pair of aviator sunglasses while sat at the traffic lights in the car this morning. I was miles away, imaging how cool I'd look with the windows down, the soft pokey notes of saxophone jazz noodling from the radio as George Michael's 'Careless Whisper' floats through the air... Then it struck me.... A MULLET! Why had I not thought of it before! A mullet! A moustache! Awesome, awesome to the max!

So moment of truth readers, I suppose you want to me to cut to the chase and see the beast, enough of this mullet talk and walking like a panther. Here it is in all its follicular glory.

 

What do you mean you cant see it? It's there!!! 

Still cant see it, for those of you who have less than perfect looking balls, here it is in extreme close up. I estimate a good 2-3mm of growth.. Not too shabby.

I hope that I get past this '80's Footballer' style moustache fairly quickly, it is not a look that agrees with life in the 21st century. A pack of Bourbon cream biscuits should help growth along nicely. That's all for now Mo'bros and She'bros.